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“Wait, Is it a Date?” Podcast Episode 203: Dating guys | Autostraddle

A fun reality concerning the queer community is we have experience online dating guys. No, I’m not merely speaking about the cis homosexual guys — I’m writing about nearly all of

our very own

listeners! (Though i actually do wish we have a big backup of cis homosexual male audience tbh.) Whether you’re a lesbian which dated guys as a young adult or a queer individual who dates a lot of sexes, the area is actually way too combined and sex is actually much too complicated to depart men — cis and trans — from our discussions.

For this reason recently the subject is online dating males and the really unique visitor is copywriter, movie director, podcaster, symbol, and my closest friend, Gaby Dunn! For many who have no idea them, Gaby might internet dating men throughout their entire identity journey. They consult with you about dating guys whenever they thought they certainly were a cis woman and internet dating guys since they may be on as transmasculine. We also get to the terrible cis men from Boston that Christina dated before coming out and question exactly why i’ve a desire to bang Jon Hamm.

But initial! We perform a-game I name “Netflix & Shill” that asks such concerns as: exactly how gay twinks teens will be the Olsen Twin automobile

Nyc Second

?


SHOW RECORDS

+ if you’d like more of Gaby check out
the episode of Bad with cash
that Christina and I had been on this past year.

+ Since tracking, Gaby had gotten their two new Swayze tattoos!


+ and merely a reminder: you need to view

Road Home

.

+ vital video footage of
Jenifer Lewis on 2019 GLAAD Awards
:

+ Jaida Essence Hall. The
hottest pig in the city.

+ Watch Gaby’s brief film,

Grindr Kid

.




EPISODE


Gaby:

I think if I get leading surgery, it is going to alter immensely. That’s my personal anxiety is as soon as I get top surgery, these guys will likely be similar, “Wait one minute.”


Christina:

“Hold on. You got the titties out.”


Gaby:

Correct. That’s what In My Opinion.


Christina:

“what are you doing?”


Gaby:

“Wait a minute. You have full facial hair and shh, but these titties tend to be providing me personally a down” and when I don’t possess all of them, I’m interested what theywill think.


[theme song performs]


Drew:

Hi, I’m Drew.


Christina:

I’m Christina.


Drew:

This is,

Hold off, So Is This a Date?


Christina:


Hold off, Is This a night out together?

is an Autostraddle podcast all about online dating and finding out if things are times along with other subject areas, even as we determine, those subject areas will likely be, while we record even more attacks with this podcast known as,

Wait, Is This a night out together?

That took a turn. Have got to state, did not expect just one phrase to recover from my lips in that order, but wow, right here we’re.


Drew:

I understood that inside our intro, i’ve given you the responsibility of claiming something totally new whenever. I state, “This is Wait, Is it a night out together?” i quickly go, “Christina,” while arrive at just ad-lib and it’s always interesting.


Christina:

It certainly is some thing. As they say, hefty is the head that wears the top and my top is actually, occasionally, these headphones and this also podcast.


Drew:

Incredible. I am Drew Gregory. I’m an author for Autostraddle, a filmmaker. You said finally time that I always paused before I say my identities. Once again, I’m a queer trans woman and basic homosexual individual.


Christina:

Which is attractive. I’m Christina Tucker. I am in addition a writer at Autostraddle and internet abound, i’m a gay cis lady. By doing so, I think we’re a very stunning staff.


Drew:

As I think about Christina, In my opinion cis lady.


Christina:

Yeah.


Drew:

Really don’t think huge faggot.


Christina:

Yeah. No. Thank you. That is, in fact, in addition a sizable section of my identity has been a gigantic faggot.


Drew:

Yeah.


Christina:

I’ve heard a rumor you have a-game personally.


Drew:

We pretty sure carry out.


Christina:

By I heard a rumor, I mean, you texted me right.


Drew:

Yeah.


Christina:

In several ways, what’s a rumor? Who is going to state? It may be whatever you like it to be in the interest of a podcast.


Drew:

I hope this can be okay.


Christina:

Oh man.


Drew:

I’m just likely to talk for a little while and also you do not need to state everything because I do not would like you to incriminate your self.


Christina:

Okay.


Drew:

You regularly work for a free account labeled as, the majority of. It was not possessed by Netflix. I don’t really understand the internal functions, but basically, it actually was in charge of discussing the queer content on Netflix each month. Today, before Netflix chose to shoot a bunch of their queer employees right before Pride, prior to

that,

you used to be an element of the staff that has been responsible for pitching everything I will say is Netflix’s lackluster queer content material. Every month, more account was tasked with issuing the queer content when it comes to thirty days. Frequently, there clearly wasn’t enough queer material or even the queer content material that was here, Netflix, for whatever reason, don’t need to market since it was possibly as well edgy or was actually international or any.

Most of the stuff that’s on these lists is to refer to it as queer is actually substantial, but because you no further have that work, I was thinking you might perform one final hurrah, a two months observe if you will which was maybe not provided through this corporation. I’ve a game title called, “Netflix and Shill” where i’ll name titles that were on the month-to-month “it’s this that’s queer and arriving at Netflix.” I haven’t viewed everyone, but i really do think that many of them aren’t… at the least the queerness is actually refined or slight or supporting figure. What I’m going to need away from you is actually for that reveal to me personally precisely why this work of news is really so significantly crucial that you queer record plus the queer society.


Christina:

Okay. I do believe i could repeat this and never get charged.


Drew:

Great.


Christina:

In my opinion that is exciting.


Drew:

Great. Well, okay. Our very first name is, a Netflix leading collection. We are going to choose

Bridgerton

.


Christina:


Bridgerton

.

Bridgerton

is actually profoundly important to the queer society because two stars, the leads of, i assume, this finally season are both queer. We enjoy queer stars whether or not both are playing directly in that way.


Drew:

That’s actually stunning.


Christina:

Yeah.


Drew:

Queer actors could play directly parts.


Christina:

Yes, they may be able. Truly, Jonathan Bailey did a fairly impressive task to be a straight guy. Great for him.


Drew:

I really do love that. Okay. Following up,

Would it be Cake?


Christina:


Would it be Cake?

Seriously, of Netflix real life suggests that I saw inside my tenure truth be told there, I’d a golf ball enjoying

Is-it Cake?

and that is sometimes a comment on exactly how many terrible truth shows you’ll find or how busted my head was through this work. It’s tough to express.

Will it be Cake?

had a bevy of queer contestants plus, many homosexual judges such as Rebecca dark, which had been really fun and exciting.


Drew:

Right. Which is wonderful.


Christina:

Yeah.


Drew:

Okay. The ’90s film,

You Have Mail.


Christina:

Quick cameo from Sara Ramirez and Nora Ephron really knows how to compose and gays like writing. I don’t know.


Drew:

I believe we would like authorship. I could attest to that.


Christina:

It’s not my favorite of Ephrons, but it is indeed there. It’s in canon.


Drew:

Yes.


Christina:

But I do imagine it was that 10-second Sara Ramirez moment.


Drew:

Okay. Wow. I was gonna say i will rewatch it because Really don’t bear in mind all of them staying in it, but maybe i ought ton’t rewatch it. That’s to express. Next upwards is,

I Am Aware That Which You Did Finally Summertime.


Christina:

I’m going to draw a big old blank on this subject one. Gays do love horror such that I don’t because I am not that kind of homosexual. Screaming is camp. I don’t know. Who can state?


Drew:

You heard it right here, folks, shouting is camp.


Christina:

Who is able to state? I really don’t even understand if I’ve actually ever observed that flick, to tell the truth. I have to have since like a young child. I need to have considered it and chose, no, scary is simply not for me personally.


Drew:

Then up is one that you probably have experienced.

New York Instant.


Christina:

That’s the Lindsay Lohan film, I think.


Drew:

I think it really is Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen.


Christina:

Absolutely a Lindsay the one that’s also about New York, but with which has something to carry out with fortune or something like that. Once more, Mary-Kate and Ashley tend to be legendary and they tend to be swamp witches today and won’t do anything normal aside from love, make big beige clothing for any Row, which is for some reason pretty homosexual of them, but actually, I really don’t imagine I have seen that film.


Drew:

Wow.


Christina:

I do offer the Olsens in their work.


Drew:

I favor that.


Christina:

And/or their unique decreased work recently. In my opinion that’s in fact similarly motivational. They truly place in their own time as youngsters.


Drew:

Another one We have not seen while most likely have-not observed it. I attempted to Google exactly how gay it actually was and I don’t believe it’s homosexual. Maybe truly gay and I also only…

The Lincoln Lawyer

. Is

The Lincoln Attorney

gay?


Christina:

Just What?


Drew:

With Matthew McConaughey?


Christina:

When it is, i will be surprised to hear it. I’m trying to… No, I’ve not witnessed it. I’m sure a bit about Lincoln. He had been high.


Drew:

He had been additionally reported to-be like a little gay, which explains why I’m want, “ended up being The Lincoln Lawyer about… was actually Matthew McConaughey playing a homosexual lawyer?” I don’t think-so centered on my personal rapid Bing, but listener, if you have seen

The Lincoln Lawyer

, please give us a message. How homosexual could it possibly be?


Christina:

Yeah. My personal imagine will say that there surely is some softly homosexual subplot or absolutely a gay star with it.


Drew:

Great.


Christina:

That would be the two explanations it may make the record.


Drew:

Okay.

My Best Friend’s Marriage.


Christina:

By far the most legendary gay friend, i believe, in history in Rupert Everett. Really, the only real rom-com that has a finishing that I’ve previously really determined with because girl, you’ll be by yourself but you’ll have your best gay friend here at the marriage for your needs. Definitely homosexual culture.


Drew:

That was an easy one, it believed really worth mentioning. This, additionally, could be a straightforward choice for you specifically, the 1982,

Annie.


Christina:

Though I am a musical faggot, guy, perform I detest

Annie?

Because guy, perform I dislike young ones singing more than just about anything in the world. I have found them very annoying. I believe, “The Sun can come Out Tomorrow” is just one of the worst songs in music theater background.


Drew:

Bernadette Peters is actually this package, right?


Christina:

Bernadette is in that certain. That is the one with Bernadette, which feels like adequate could well be sufficient for my situation. She is notoriously a sticker to my liquid container, but i acquired nothing.


Drew:

That is not an expression. I wish to clear up.


Christina:

No.


Drew:

Definitely actually… Absolutely a Bernadette Peters sticker-on Christina’s h2o bottle. Yeah, looking at it immediately. There you decide to go.


Christina:

She’s above Viola Davis.


Drew:

That is stunning.


Christina:

I favor record. Herstory, I’m sorry.


Drew:

You will find three more. Oscar nominated film,

Never Research.


Christina:

Cate Blanchett extends to say whatever she desires caused by

Carol,

I think. I do believe that’s all.


Drew:

Okay.


Christina:

Gay guys like Ariana Grande.


Drew:

Yeah. I undoubtedly watched that flick though I like to imagine within my head that i did not since it had been so bad, but i did not bear in mind there getting any homosexual characters. Was Jennifer Lawrence bisexual involved?


Christina:

She had a bisexual haircut in it.


Drew:

Okay. Which is adequate. Okay. Two more.

My Minimal Pony: A Brand New Generation.


Christina:

I don’t know what are the results with those ponies.


Drew:

Are they gay?


Christina:

They can be ponies. My gut claims indeed. There is something gay about saying the term, “My personal small pony,” but what occurs on that plan, that’s not my company.


Drew:

Great. Well, we have one more, that we have no idea if you had to see this for work, but I heard situations.

Diana: The Music.


Christina:

Oh child performed we view

Diana: The Musical.

That was very difficult to look at. I understand there can be a contingent of theater gays who will be similar, “No. In fact, we are bravely being released to state that

Diana: The Musical

is actually brilliant.” I wish to have a long consult with those gays because i will be perplexed by that. Really, it really is musical, so particular like, gays like a music, but also, i do believe their valet or something like that is actually homosexual however specifically gay, but provides a big homosexual man dressing a fairly girl power. Boy, that music was actually awful.


Drew:

Can there be reference to supports the music?


Christina:

Oh yeah, there clearly was an entire, in fact, scene that I really blocked considering upheaval since it is a musical number about having HIV and HELPS and it is poor, terrible, bad lyrics.


Drew:

Wow.


Christina:

Lyrically a flop.


Drew:

Wow. Well, this was an extremely breathtaking time.


Christina:

Yeah.


Drew:

Thanks for playing this hazardous game beside me. I would exactly like to say that while I don’t help big corporations or comedians who will be transphobic, I do love the tv show, Intercourse Education and I also would get Netflix money to produce my very own tv show whenever they desire. Only placing that about record.


Christina:

I do believe which is a great thing getting from the record.


Drew:

Maybe next I’ll put some popcorn and see The Lincoln Lawyer.


Christina:

I favor that. Of the many motion pictures about list, that is the one the place you’re like, “I’ve got some questions we have got to untangle indeed there.”


Drew:

Well, let’s move on to all of our subject for the week, in fact it is online dating men. I usually state, we’ve a very special guest because we do not really do like not special friends because what’s the point of obtaining a podcast for this.


Christina:

Yeah.


Drew:

But this person is my personal closest friend. I’ll allow them to introduce by themselves.


Gaby:

Oh my Jesus. Hi. I Am Gaby Dunn. I am Drew’s closest friend. I’m additionally an author and a noted internet bisexual gay person. Yeah. We work with television and movie. Sometimes guides, occasionally podcasts. I’m certain you will carry out the thing at the end, which is like, “promote anything you desire to promote or whatever.” I won’t bore you up leading, but…


Christina:

Please don’t.


Gaby:

Yeah. Generally, Im your own buddy. Hi.


Christina:

Yeah.


Gaby:

Yeah.


Christina:

Yeah. This is the best benefit, i believe.


Drew:

Perhaps you have dated a guy?


Gaby:

Oh my personal Jesus. Oh boy. Okay. Here is my journey.


Drew:

Yeah.


Gaby:

I was just like the bisexual cis girl for the net for a time. We, yeah, dated many males. Now, I’m like a nonbinary transmasculine individual. I am still dating guys, but it is different. My personal lover is actually a transmasculine individual. They’re on testosterone, next people i am seeing are a variety of trans men. There is one cis man, but he could be dead for me immediately after which other people that… its gotten to be more of a T4T scenario up in here, but yeah, we used to date alot of… We’re roasting cis men. Is that which we’re carrying out?


Drew:

No. No, I Would Personally never. No. I believe the things I’m into is actually, as soon as we happened to be initial talking about the season and possible subject areas and friends, this was back in January, I found myself like, “Oh, really, by the time, we would have Gaby, I believe they’ll be men.” That is additionally a fascinating dynamic. I don’t know about that, however it certainly has not perhaps not come true in some steps. I am into just mapping the trajectory of all of the various ways. Obviously, sex is complex. Every individual commitment is actually a unique relationship, but I know Christina has knowledge matchmaking cis males as a cis woman. You really have experienced online dating cis guys as a “cis girl.”


Christina:

Certain.


Drew:

You have got experience matchmaking trans guys as a “cis woman.”


Gaby:

Yeah, air prices. Air prices around all of that.


Drew:

Yeah. You can’t look at air quotes because—


Christina:

Oh they were able to hear them. These were really clear for the audience.


Gaby:

Yeah.


Drew:

Today, you are a transmasculine person nevertheless matchmaking men, both cis and trans. I don’t know. I’m simply into engaging in the distinctions and particular habits.


Gaby:

Certain.


Drew:

And exactly what your union were to guys as… truly, absolutely an enormous difference in getting a closeted transmasculine individual and a cis lady.


Gaby:

Yeah.


Christina:

Yeah.


Drew:

You both supply those perspectives and wow.


Christina:

Yeah.


Drew:

Exactly how exciting personally.


Gaby:

Okay. Here’s the fact. I’m 2 months on T, right now, these days. That will be an extremely different trip. I came out as nonbinary last year, nearly last year. I happened to be still extremely femme during the time although, how much does that mean? I’d long-hair, but We will have cut my hair. I’m on T. The T is beginning to exhibit. You will find a tiny bit mustache. We continue to have boobies. I recently cannot actually admit them. Now, its just a little interesting using cis straight guys that I see because i am want, “Do i need to love what you identify since? Really does that issue in my opinion? What exactly are you? What are you watching me personally because? What’s this?”